Wondering

Whenever life pulls at me, I think of this little volume of prose I was given back in 1975. I had a friend, Nancy, in high school, who was sick and I didn't know it, terribly ill. She died on December 19, 1974. After Christmas that year I rode my bike over to her house and left a note for her in the mailbox. I was worried. Hadn't seen her. Normally saw her daily.

The day I left that note in the mailbox her mother came by our house. Told us Nancy had died before Christmas. Then she went home and found my note. Gads. Can you imagine? I can't.

The next Christmas, December 1985, there was a small package for me in our mailbox. It was from Nancy's mother. It was a small edition of Kahlil Gibran's The Prophet. This volume has always been very important to me. The verse on marriage was read from it during our wedding. And now, the verse on death...

Then Almitra spoke, saying, We would ask now of Death.
   And he said:
   You would know the secret of death.
   But how shall you find it unless you seek it in the heart of life?
   The owl whose night-bound eyes are blind unto the day cannot unveil the mystery of light.
   If you would indeed behold the spirit of death, open your heart wide unto the body of life.
   For life and death are one, even as the river and the sea are one.
   In the depth of your hopes and desires lies your silent knowledge of the beyond;
   And like seeds dreaming beneath the snow your heart dreams of spring.
   Trust the dreams, for in them is hidden the gate to eternity.
   Your fear of death is but the trembling of the shepherd when he stands before the king whose hand is to be laid upon him in honour.
   Is the shepherd not joyful beneath his trembling, that he shall wear the mark of the king?
   Yet is he not more mindful of his trembling?
   For what is it to die but to stand naked in the wind and to melt into the sun?
   And what is it to cease breathing, but to free the breath from its restless tides, that it may rise and expand and seek God unencumbered?
   Only when you drink from the river of silence shall you indeed sing.
   And when you have reached the mountain top, then you shall begin to climb.
   And when the earth shall claim your limbs, then shall you truly dance.